When I work with kids today I always think about this. I work with both “normally” or “typically” developing kids and with kids with an autism spectrum disorder. I want students to recognize how to control their emotions, their behaviors and how to self-regulate. I want to create a safe space where if kids act out that is okay. You can take that energy and plug it into something that’s positive and productive. They are in a safe space and they are in the process of experimenting and learning what is right and what is wrong. An important aspect of child development is that kids need to be able to experiment through play. Kids learn through play. They need to try out things, in a safe space, and see what works and what doesn’t work. I also want kids to feel included. When I was a kid, I was excluded from a lot of social and sporting activities because I wasn’t good at socializing with other kids or playing sports. I was always the last picked at recess and sometimes I was never picked at all and had to play by myself at recess which very sad, disorienting and humiliating. When I did theater and music, kids, parents and teachers for the first time really started responding in a positive way to what I was doing. I was connecting all that energy into a positive outlet. And that was very important for my self-confidence. I don’t think I would be as mature, balanced, caring and as empathetic as I am today if it weren’t for my musical and theater outlets. It was also because my Mom and Dad supported me and brought me to these outlets. It was in these environments that adults and other kids would take the opportunity to say, “You are who you are and that is a good thing.” And dissapointment happens. Life can’t always be positive. But it’s about learning from failure, moving forward and being resilient. That’s important.
Turtle Dance Music works with “normally” or “typically” developing students and students with an autism spectrum disorder. When I was a kid, a doctor diagnosed me with attention deficit disorder or A.D.D. I took Ritalin and Aderol for my symptoms because I was very wild. I had a lot of trouble paying attention in class and I had a lot of behavioral issues. Teachers and adults yelled at me on a regular basis and it always made me feel very sad and frustrated. When I work with typically developing kids or kids with an autism spectrum disorder, I totally understand them when behaviorally they act out, or when they do something innapropriate or when they get upset. I was that kid when I was younger. I threw tantrums, I bit the doctor after she chased me around the entire doctor’s office when she tried to give me a shot (I HATED the thumb prick when I was a kid), and I did a lot of things that most people would consider socially innapropriate. And I felt really bad when people yelled at me as a kid. I felt really misunderstood. I wanted to have friends. I wanted to have connections, but I felt very isolated and like I didn’t understand why the adult or grown-up was yelling at me.
When I work with kids today I always think about this. I work with both “normally” or “typically” developing kids and with kids with an autism spectrum disorder. I want students to recognize how to control their emotions, their behaviors and how to self-regulate. I want to create a safe space where if kids act out that is okay. You can take that energy and plug it into something that’s positive and productive. They are in a safe space and they are in the process of experimenting and learning what is right and what is wrong. An important aspect of child development is that kids need to be able to experiment through play. Kids learn through play. They need to try out things, in a safe space, and see what works and what doesn’t work. I also want kids to feel included. When I was a kid, I was excluded from a lot of social and sporting activities because I wasn’t good at socializing with other kids or playing sports. I was always the last picked at recess and sometimes I was never picked at all and had to play by myself at recess which very sad, disorienting and humiliating. When I did theater and music, kids, parents and teachers for the first time really started responding in a positive way to what I was doing. I was connecting all that energy into a positive outlet. And that was very important for my self-confidence. I don’t think I would be as mature, balanced, caring and as empathetic as I am today if it weren’t for my musical and theater outlets. It was also because my Mom and Dad supported me and brought me to these outlets. It was in these environments that adults and other kids would take the opportunity to say, “You are who you are and that is a good thing.” And dissapointment happens. Life can’t always be positive. But it’s about learning from failure, moving forward and being resilient. That’s important.
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It was really fascinating last night. A few words that kept popping up at the lecture were "expression" and "emotion". And how emotion is tied to the learning experience. We spoke about Carly Fleischmann, her book, her amazing facebook page and the work that she's done. I showed everyone this video by Carly Fleischmann and it was so amazing. The room was so emotional afterwards. We all had our hands on our chests. Tonight I will be giving a professional development lecture at the Bridgewater Public Library at 7:00 P.M. The lecture will focus on Autism Intervention, Self-Regulation and how the Arts can help all children, including children and teens with special needs, reach key developmental milestones. The lecture will focus on Stanley Greenspan and Serena Wieder's DIR/Floortime Model, Daniel N. Stern's article on Affect Attunement, and Stuart Shanker's book Calm, Alert and Learning. I will speak about the amazing work that I am doing with Turtle Dance Music, Making Books Sing and the Emerge and See Education Center. I will also be showing teachers, parents and librarians techniques for writing original songs with their kids! Go to this link for more info! http://www.libraryinsight.com/calendar.asp?jx=nj One more fun note: I was in the grocery store this morning and I had my guitar. The manager asked if I could play them all a song so I led all the cashiers in a round of "Three Little Birds" by Bob Marley. It was so awesome and so much fun. I love sharing music with people. And I love meeting new people. I am the exact opposite of a misanthrope. I love love love meeting new people. Oh my goodness. Yesterday was so much fun. So, Jerome and I performed at the Island Trees Public Library in Levittown, NY yesterday. Three amazing things happened: 1. The kids were awesome and I got some awesome high fives from the kids at the show. 2. Liz Spoto, the amazing Children's Librarian, said that we were the best music program that they have ever had at the library. 3. I spoke with one of the Dad's after the show. Everyone had a great time and said that they loved the show. I said to him, "You are such an awesome Dad for bringing your daughter to the library" (because I want to be that kind of a Dad) and he said, "I have to. My daughter would get angry at me if I didn't!" I thought that was awesome. I love that. I love that kids love going to the library. If I could talk to a younger version of myself, I would say, "Hey younger Matt - go to the library all the time - it's an awesome place." I also attended an Autism-Friendly performance of Bello at the New Victory Theater last night. It was great. Bello is so funny. MY FAVORITE - FAVORITE part of the performance was when he was doing a tightrope walk and he was being funny and he picked up a chair and put it over his shoulder to make walking on the tightrope harder - and a kid in the audience shouted, "No! You're doing it wrong!" I loved that. It was a really wonderful performance and I am happy that all of the parents had the opportunity to bring their kids to a broadway show in a judgement-free, safe zone. It was excellent. I loved it. Autism Friendly Spaces facilitated the event and they were handing out little "fidgits" for the kids to play with during the show for proprioceptive feedback. It was great. Two things I want to post: 1. Is that there is an Autism-Friendly performance of Bello tonight at the New Victory Theater. Check it out - it is going to be awesome. Here is a link: https: www.newvictory.org/Show-Detail.aspx?ProductionId=5731 2. I was contacted by Gabriela McCall Delgado who runs a resource for college students with developmental disabilities who are looking to get connected to employment opportunities and getting access to higher education. Check it out, it looks like a great resource. I have met so many kids and adults with autism who have so much potential. It's not a one-size fits all, every person with developmental disabilities has different circumstances, but one of my students, Cletis, is an amazing guitar player and drummer and he's 23. Outstanding guy. I would love to get him connected to something music related. So check out this link - there are chapters of this organization all over the world and the U.S. http://weconnectnow.wordpress.com/ 3. It's Passover. We have a show today and I am considering singing Dayenu which is one of my favorite Passover songs. It's all about having enough in this world and being surprised that God/The Universe/Nature/other People have so much to offer us. It's like "We had shelter, and it would have been enough, but then you gave us light and warmth. We had light and warmth and it would have been enough but then you gave us food." It's also a fun song to clap and sing to. I had to write about this picture today. Two things I need you to know about me: 1. I studied Autism Intervention at Montclair State University 2. I am an Autism Intervention Specialist and Teaching Artist with Making Books Sing (www.makingbookssing.org). I did a residency at a wonderful school in Queens where I shared music with kids with special needs. I also work with this great autism center called Emerge and See (emergeandsee.net). This students name is B. He once confronted me in the hallway and said, "Hey Mr. Matt" and he offered to give me a high five. That was one of the coolest things that has ever happened in my life. I looked forward to those kinds of experiences. My main objective is to see the kids laugh and have a good time. I'm an architect of really funny experiences. That's my job. That's my passion. When I was a kid, I used to have really low self-esteem. All the bad memories (cough sixth grade cough) stand out like a sore thumb. But what helped me get through those periods of isolation, loneliness and sadness were my friends, performing in the musicals (I played Tevye in our 8th Grade production of Fiddler on the Roof which was amazing), wrestling (which was a fantastic outlet for me in Middle School- and the first time I was ever nearly-good at a sport) and having great experiences with my family. I think when I see kids having a great time it takes me back to that time when I was a kid going to the Jersey Shore. Specifically, going to the arcade. And how fun it was walking up the skee-ball ramp and dropping the ball in the 100 points hole. But this was also a time when I would see gigantic things like the ferris wheel at Morey's Piers in Wildwood, NJ, going to sleep away camp and meeting new kids who weren't like the kids in my regular school - kids who came from different areas like NY, Connecticut and Pennsylvania and had different agendas - knew about different stuff than I did. Socialized differently. It's nice to not feel isolated from other people. It's really great to feel connected to other people. When I was a kid, my Mom used to sing to me before I went to sleep. She would sing "Somewhere Out There" from An American Tail, "Never-Neverland" from Peter Pan (the Mary Martin version), and "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" from The Wizard Of Oz. She played me my first Beatles songs and made me stand and listen to the songs in front of the radio on a tape cassette - "Eleanor Rigby" and "Free As A Bird" (Here is a beautiful original version with John playing it on the piano - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHSFTRUekT0 ). My Mom also gave me my first Neil Young CD in high school. She put me on the stage when I was in Kindergarten to sing "A Whole New World" from Aladdin at the Mt. Pleasant Elementary School talent show. It was an amazing experience. My Dad would take us to the beach in Cape May, NJ every year. I loved it down there. My Dad is a generous guy and loves talking to people. He's actually very selfless and that's a quality that I really admire about him. He's extraordinarily kind to strangers and it is lovely to watch him interact with people. He and my grandfather are very charming individuals and very outgoing. My Dad is also very funny and it is wonderful to watch him goof around and annoy my Mom. I also love to watch my Dad play with our pet turtles. He loves those turtles. I never knew that he would be such a turtle person but he absolutely loves them. Now, when he builds bridges, he will pick up a turtle on the job site and move it out of harms way. My parents did really amazing things when I was a kid. It's really funny, there are some people who say, "I don't want to be like my parents" and I totally understand that. BUT - I do want to do the things that my parents did well for my kids. Because my parents did a lot of things really well and I hope I can recreate those things and share those qualities with my kids. Today I attended the Young Children and the Arts Conference at Molloy College in Long Island. The presentations on how arts help benefit children's emotional and social development was inspiring and exciting to listen to. I love learning. Arts help with cognitive, kinesthetic, and aesthetic development. The arts and music help develop memory, self-regulation, processing, attention and representational competence. It can also help kids learn to enjoy interacting with people and with their parents and family members. Suzanne Sorel from The Rebecca Center at Molloy College, a Music Therapy center, showed a video of her working with a little girl and doing music therapy. It was wonderful. I love music therapy. The Rebecca Center is an amazing place. I was reminded by the various presenters, whether they were art therapists, music therapists, developmental pediatricians or Education staff from the Long Island Children's Museum that I need to be an advocate for the kids. I need to create transcendent experiences for kids and for parents. I want all kids to have access to the same arts and music opportunities and experiences that I had as a kid. I believe that this is how I can contribute to the world. I also like seeing the parents be happy. That is the best. My mission is to make parents happier people. Parents should be considered allies. One art therapist spoke about how she involved a mother in painting a mural and how the breathing helped calm the mother down. I think that is wonderful. I love having the parents involved in our programs. Parents are artists, too. Even if they work in other fields, there are a lot of creative parents that should be involved in the work. Along with Turtle Dance Music, I am a teaching artist with Making Books Sing in Manhattan. I teach literacy by adapting books into plays with students. I specialize in working in the Distrcit 75 schools (the special needs schools). This is my friend Mikey. He is the coolest kid ever. His smile lights up my life. I love letting him play my guitar. His classmates also light up my life. The principal and teachers at his school are amazing people. I loved the teachers at his school. Teachers are the coolest people. I am grateful that I work with Turtle Dance Music and Making Books Sing because I get to work with kids like Mikey. And I get to make kids laugh. I'm really good at that. I guess that's why I love working with kids with an autism spectrum disorder and multiple disabilities. And kids in general. I like being a helper. I've always been a helper. I also relish being an older brother figure. I'm also reading Naoki Higashida's book The Reason I Jump. My girlfriend gave it to me to read. In the book Naoki is asked, "What's the worst thing about having autism?" Naoki responds to the question by writing/pointing (he has a special system for pointing out characters so he can communicate) and says, "Really, you have no idea quite how miserable we are . . . you can't imagine how miserable and sad we get. Whenever we've done something wrong, we get told off or laughed at, without even being able to apologize, and we end up hating ourselves and despairing about our own lives, again and again and again. It's impossible not to wonder why we were born into this world as human beings at all. But I ask you, those of you who are with us all day, not to stress yourselves out because of us. When you do this, it feels as if you're denying any value at all that our lives may have - and that saps the spirit we need to soldier on. The hardest ordeal for us is the idea that we are causing grief for other people. We can put up with our own hardships okay, but the thought that our lives are the source of other people's unhappiness, that's plain unbearable" (Higashida, 41). I love his last line. In my life, I sometimes see other people being unhappy with me, and it is a major source of discomfort for me. Sometimes, I don't even understand why they feel that way. I'm a people pleaser. I like seeing people be pleased. I hate seeing people be upset with me. On the one hand, this is a major weakness and vulnerability for me. But on the other hand, it is an endearing quality and a huge motivator for me to do my best work. I like seeing the kids and the teachers and the parents be happy. It's my calling in life. I like seeing other people be happy. It's magic. And through that - that makes me happy. But sadly - it doesn't stop there. There is the other side of it. It doesn't always end on a happy note. But it's important to be aware of both sides. I also dislike people who readily dismiss people. I do it sometimes, but I am aware of it and try not to do it. There is value in every person's life. And it's our job to find that value in what other people have to say and who they are. And to help them express that. It's always funny to talk about Turtle Dance Music with people and say, "We're Turtle Dance Music and we help kids come out of their shells." What people may not actually know is that my Mom owns two pet turtles. Their names are Rex and Roxy. They are both red-eared sliders that my Mom bought in New York and Philadelphia while I was a student at New York University. My father and I advised her not to buy them because we didn't think they would live very long. Six-years later, we were both wrong. These turtles grew from the size of the head on a small spoon to a size bigger than my own foot or hand or a small plate. What's also interesting is that my Dad owns a construction company named MugRose Construction - named after my Mom's two former turtles Mugsy and Rosey from when they were first dating (seeing a trend? Father and son naming their companies after mom's turtles - hmmmm - just realizing that in this blog post). But here is what's amazing about Rex - he dances. Nobody taught him how to dance. He dances whenever he sees Roxy. He loves her! But she doesn't love him. But he keeps trying. And every time he sees her, he goes into his dance mode - he's a slick cool guy. He's the turtle that he ultimately envisions he wants to be. When she ultimately rejects him, he goes back to being his normal goofy self and comes over to me or my Mom or my Dad and hangs out on our feet - or climbs on us (we make a little bridge with our legs and help climbs up the way up to our shoulders!). Rex acts like a dog. He is so much more than a turtle. Watch the video below of Rex following me across the room. It will change your perception of turtles. Who ever knew that turtles could be so affectionate? And that turtles could be so fast? And that people could potentially develop real and strong relationships with turtles like they would a dog or a cat? It's amazing. This is in large part due to my mother's nurturing. She takes care of the turtles. She cleans their tanks every week, feeds them every day (sometimes with fresh fish from the supermarket) and plays with them every day. This is where Turtle Dance Music comes in. I see my Mom's relationship with her turtles being parallel to how we want to interact with children and parents. We want to build strong relationships. We want to play, have fun, and discover exciting new things together. We celebrate nurturing. We celebrate turtles. We celebrate affection. We celebrate our parents. We celebrate joyful, shared experiences. We enjoy seeing people and animals do things that we never thought they could do. We love to play. We love to be joyfully surprised by our interactions with people and animals. We love to learn. We love to see people and animals grow. It is a beautiful process. And Rex never bites. You can pet his chin. He is wonderful. I wonder if other people have amazing animals who transcend normal expectations like Rex does? Have you ever had a pet like Rex? |
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